Three years ago, when Edward “Big Balls” Coristine registered Tesla.Sexy LLC, could he have known where it would lead? When he set up the AI-powered Discord Bot Helfie in Russia, did he know it could someday become a security clearance challenge when he did a coup?
Few of the young Elon fanboys have taken off the way Edward has. From all accounts, this is a privileged young goon who was always meant for wanton disrespect for the law. Here is his resume:
January 21st 2025 to Current
Expert at the Office of Personnel Management and General Services Administration
- Reports directly to Amanda Scales
- Met with workers to review the code they had written and justify their jobs.
- Uses a personal email address for government meetings.
Summer 2024
Intern at Neuralink, Elon’s brain implant startup.
November 2022
Founder at DiamondCDN
- Advertised to hire a cyber specialist to perform distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks.
- Pays in bitcoin!
April to June 2022
Systems Engineer at Path Network
- Path Network is a network monitoring firm known for hiring reformed blackhat hackers.
- Fired for “leaking internal information to the competitors.”
2021
Founder, Tesla.Sexy
- Founder and CEO. Created faster.pw a website that, in 2022, showed content in Chinese advertising “multiple encrypted cross-border networks.”